Please Keep Talking

What's the best baby shower gift? Spending time with a new mom after baby comes.

There are few things better than reconnecting with an old friend. The best friends, old or new, are ones where you can just be yourself. These are the friends who you can spend a whole day with doing nothing together, and afterwards feel like it was the best day ever. These friendships can be hard to find as we get older and difficult to carry on over long distance. Saying nothing over the phone doesn’t quite have the same effect.

I’m frequently hesitant to call up old friends, because I worry I won’t have anything to say. Once, when I was finally able to catch up with a friend, she commented that she’d been doing most of the talking. She seemed to start feeling self-conscious about talking so much, but I was truly hanging on every word.

As a stay-at-home mom, my days are busy, but not usually that exciting. I find it hard to come up with small talk or interesting stories. On the other hand, I crave connection with friends and am happy to talk about {almost} anything.

What friends may not realize when they talk about themselves and update me on their life is that I am really listening. In fact, just spending time together (or on the phone or FaceTime) is the most meaningful thing that friends do to support me as a new mom.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my busy life as a toddler mama and active blogger. But while I could talk about blogging and social media for days, I don’t especially enjoy watching my friends’ eyes glaze over. I could also tell stories about Baby’s latest development or disaster, but after spending all day everyday with him it’s nice to have a break every once in a while.

So friend, please don’t feel self-conscious if you notice you’ve been talking for a while. I really am listening to all of the details about what’s new at work, your latest dating drama, or our favorite TV show. I love hearing about what’s new with you, your day, and what’s on your mind.

Feel free to push a little and ask me questions back. If you’re not interested in baby talk for blog buzz, I totally understand. Generic questions are really hard, but if you ask something specific I could probably talk forever. After spending days in constant conversation with myself to foster Baby’s language acquisition, just listening to you speak is a wonderful change.

In short: Dear friend, please keep talking. Tell me about your day, your week, your year. Your celebrations and your challenges, your favorite read and your latest guilty pleasure.

I’m listening. I care. Hearing whatever you have to say is the most relaxing part of my day. So don’t worry or feel like you’re chatting too much. I promise I’ll talk, too. I’m actually pretty awful about interrupting (I’m always working on it, I swear), so don’t worry about me getting a word in. It’s listening to your stories that helps clear the mommy fog and allow me to remember the fun, crazy, and meaningful stories I would love to share with you, too.

How do you keep in touch with your closest friends? What does their friendship mean to you?

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One thought on “Please Keep Talking

  1. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom

    What a lovely post.

    Do I ever crave those adult conversations… although I have lots of opportunities for them, as we belong to a homeschool asssociation and go on a lot of homeschool field trips and participate in various parent/child classes.

    When I’m on the phone with my non-mommy friends, I enjoy hearing about their lives – their new travels and adventures. It’s a definite welcomed change of pace.

    Wishing you well.
    Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom recently posted…SHINE Blog Hop #26My Profile


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